Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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