pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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