I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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