Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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