i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
