do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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