i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
