they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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