Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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