I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
