I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
