You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
