No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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