Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
