They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
