So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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