If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
