Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
