Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
