I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She told me I should be a condom model.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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