Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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