This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
