Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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