I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
did you just send me my own nude
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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