Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Terrible idea I love it
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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