Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
