Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
