Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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