Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
