I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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