i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
