True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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