of course. lets lasso hookers.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
