exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
