i would punch a child for taco bell
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
