You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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