how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
