Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's never too late to be topless.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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