Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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