i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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