I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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