i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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