yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
