I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
