I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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