I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
