wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
