I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
