so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
