and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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