the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
