Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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