What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
