Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
