Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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