Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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