I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
