god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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