oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Never underestimate the power of titties
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
